“Another day that the laundry pile didn’t move. Didn’t make time to cook dinner, will have to grab fast food again. Didn’t make time for that workout I promised myself. Old makeup touched up with new mascara again. Another day I haven’t figured out a good skincare routine. Late. Late again. Car, that I just cleaned, is a mess again.”
Life and motherhood can be tough sometimes. It seems like every time I turn around, I’m behind on something. Many times this has made me question my worth because “I just can’t get it together.” Why do I feel like I have nothing together if the kitchen sink is full? Or I don’t cook a full course meal every night? I feel like I’m letting my family down because everything should be perfect for them. Or I feel that people, outside looking in, will think that because I have a clean pile of laundry beside my bed right now.. I’m not a good mom.
Who is in your audience?
Jesus put this phrase on my heart that has started my journey in understanding my worth, “Perform for an audience of ONE.” Looking at our daily life as our performance (work, household duties, parenting, etc), who do you allow in your audience? Who are you waiting for feedback from? Whose feedback are you letting shape and affect you? As my first year being a mom of 2, there are many times I have questioned my worth based on shortcomings and other’s judgements (or even just perceived judgments). If I allow Jesus to be the only one in my audience, worth never comes into question. (Titus 3:5 So…Jesus saves us because of His mercy and love for us, not based on our good works.) We’re all human. We all have off days. We are a constant “work in progress” and that’s okay.
your worth isn’t in a pile of laundry
Laundry has been piled up for a couple weeks. It’s moved from piles of dirty laundry, to piles of clean laundry. Going to bed, you see the huge pile and think about folding and putting it away. You’re exhausted and feeling like a failure for putting it off this long already, so you choose sleep. I can’t imagine Jesus saying, “Wow. Messed it up again, huh? Are you ever going to get this right? So many other moms out there do this with no problem. Some of them work more than you do and have more kids than you too. How is this such a difficult task? You just can’t get it together. What is your worth?” I’ve totally beaten myself up with those same words before. I am so thankful Jesus doesn’t see us that way, because your worth isn’t in a pile of laundry! (John 8:11 So…even after sin, Jesus did not condemn, but instead instructed change.)
WWJS (What Would Jesus Say)
I see Jesus’ commentary being more like a coach on the sidelines instead of just kicked back waiting to critique us. Instead of disappointment, He brings encouragement; instead of doubt, He brings reassurance; and instead of comparison, He brings truth and destiny. This isn’t to say that we shouldn’t try harder tomorrow, that we don’t need to work on some things, or that we shouldn’t strive for growth. This is to say that Jesus would not question our worth and He wouldn’t want US to question our worth either. I believe He would say something like, “Hey, you’re human remember? You can try again tomorrow! Remember who you are. Remember who I created you to be! You have worth, you have a destiny, and not doing the laundry today did not mess any of that up!” (Jeremiah 1:5 So…before we were even conceived, Jesus appointed our destiny.)
Realizing that my worth doesn’t change even in my failures is so reassuring. I’m still a great mom even when I have to dig through a clean laundry pile for socks- and so are you! Just make sure to try again. I encourage you to read over Proverbs 31:27 and Colossians 3:23. These 2 verses have helped motivate me to do better. Not because my worth starts to disappear if I don’t, but because Jesus want us to do and be our best (and we always feel better when we do!). If you are beating yourself up over something silly and human, examine your feedback. Look to Jesus for encouragement, reassurance, and truth! Any doubt about your destiny or worth is a lie so check with your audience and try again tomorrow!
Have you ever struggled with worth in motherhood?
Feel free to drop your thoughts in a comment below or send me an email here!